Hello, ladies, how are you? I’m back!
Yeah, I know, sometimes I take some time off, but I always come back, so don’t worry, mama is here now.
Unfortunately, today I am not in a good mood and the subject I choose to speak of is, at least for me, a little delicate. In view of the latest events, I thought it would be ok to talk about it.
I’ve been noticing lately a recurrent behavior and a little alarm rang inside my head so I tried to write something to bring awareness and reflexion, because I think that questionings brings changes.
I must confess, sometimes I get easily impressed with people’s ability to believe that everything is very permissible on the internet as you are not face to face, so nothing is fairer than to put yourself on someone else’s skin to understand a thing or two about it.
Imagine the following:
You own a coffee shop in your city and you are very happy doing your job. All the customers like you, you’re always open to a conversation and are always nice to your employers.
On a bright shiny day, you receive a comment on one of your SM pointing out what they consider your incompetencies. To humiliate you and express all the anger, this person even uses bad words.
As if it’s not too much already, they still accuse you of inappropriate behavior with the people you love and are part of your life. YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN THIS PERSON IN YOUR LIFE and you don’t have the littlest clue about what you have done to make this person react with such hatred towards you.
How would you feel? What would you do? What would you think?
So, let’s go to today’s subject: We need to talk about Caitriona Balfe.
Caitriona Mary Balfe, 38, also known as Cait, Catarina, Claire Fraser or Dora. Loved by us. Unfortunately not by all.
If you aren’t someone who follows a lot of what happens on SM or if you don’t follow us – which is a crime, by the way – you may not have understood correctly what I am referring to.
A few weeks ago, a person decided to brutally attack Caitriona in a post on her public IG account.
Could I have chosen to erase the user name? Yes, I could have. Will I do it? Hell no. People need to understand that even though they are behind a computer screen using the internet, it does not give them a free pass to do whatever they want. It wasn’t for nothing that James Gunn got fired from Disney for inappropriate records, with heavy jokes about pedophifilia and rape.
I could have also chosen to ignore this whole comment, since hate for hate doesn’t get you anywhere at all. But I won’t. I chose to talk about the accusation of such heinous acts, according to Evie Hunter 777, so we can understand that it is not just about a comment.
Things got real now.
I’ll use Evie as an example, yeah, but that goes way beyond her. Let’s consider a few points, maybe this will make things crystal clear. Starting with the first one:
If you are just coming in and you’re not familiar yet, or if you came from another fandom, or you just did not have much of a knack for SM, maybe you don’t know, but the people involved with Outlander – staff, cast, producers and even the author herself – have a DIRECT communication with fans.
Believe me, you will not find another show with such care. This is good because it brings people closer, writers, producers, favourite actors – and / or actress. But it also sets a precedent for a minority who always believes things should be done their way.
Caitriona – whose behavior is similar to her co-workers – always keeps an eye on what is said about everything that involves her. She follows, reads, enjoys, comments and share what she finds relevant.
Turns out that when you open yourself up for communication, you owe people explanations, right? Wrong!
Some people confuse “communicating” with “accountability.” It is a minority, since most of the people who follow her and her work are respectful, but this minority are very loud when they want.. Wanna see an example?
On July 5th – the last shooting day of S4 – Cait and Sam decided to ask fans on twitter for questions to be asked to one another, but they never went through with it.
We need to realize that BOTH asked the fans, but no one argued aggressively when Sam did not respond. Caitriona didn’t get the same understanding, since she was the one who received hateful comments – Evie Hunter 777’s was one of them.
Do you happen to know why THEY didn’t answer the questions? Have you stopped to give it some thought?
They could’ve gone to work again to finish their scenes, they could of decided to celebrate the end of an exhausting season, the producers decided it was best if they didn’t respond anything or they weren’t in the mood anymore
There are so many possibilities, but let’s be honest: THEY ARE NOT OBLIGATED TO DO ANYTHING. Or at least they shouldn’t be. They had no obligation to answer anyone.
There have been situations where they would had announced a Q&A but it ended up not happening, but it’s still an unusual behavior.
A recurring argument – which was also used by Evie Hunter 777 – is that Sam Heughan, 38, blonde, tall, strong and SMART, is too innocent to realize that he has fallen into the clutches of the evil Catarina. Yes, there is a group of people who REALLY believe that Sam is harassed BY CAITRIONA BALFE.
A piece of advice? Whenever you’re engaging in a conversation with others or with yourself, please, KNOW THE MEANING OF THE WORDS YOU ARE USING.
Believe me, when you are fully aware of what you are talking about, it makes things much easier and smooth. If you don’t know the meaning of the word harassment, no problem – mainly because we don’t know everything – but before using it, please find out what it really means, where and how the term is used.
Google exists to make our lives easier. It even turns your TV on and off. As for Sam, if you want to understand about the harassment he suffers – because he does – and is reported by himself AND BY HIS PARTNER AND INTIMATE FRIEND DORA, I have the perfect text for you.
Evie Hunter 777 was crystal clear when she called Caitriona “a B model “. So hun, let me explain who is Caitriona Balfe in the fashion world, since you obviously don’t know:
Most renowned model of her country, she is in the 20 best model’s list in the world, requested by several brands and, after almost 10 years off the catwalk, she goes to fashion shows and even sits in the front row.
As if that was not enough, she had and has the courage to talk openly about the model life problems before and after leaving the fashion world. She is very grateful for everything she has learned and has personality to wear clothes that are fresh off the fashion show – literally.
Unlike many actresses “the model and actress B” receives 3 models of the stylist so that she can make the composition of her choice. So, before criticizing her for not knowing which dress she will wear or for not having chosen yet, and several actresses already know, understand the following: SHE IS NOT EVERYBODY.
Here’s a good article indication
Here is a modern woman who uses her voice to speak her mind and to support causes she believes in. What is wrong with that?? For some people, there are! You don’t need to have cancer to support any institution whose purpose is to pay for exams, medications and treatment for those who have the disease, right? Did Eva Longoria called you asking if you would like to join an equality movement? I never received it, but it’s not very difficult to understand how Time’s Up works, what’s the benefit of it and how it helps people. What about plastic containers, do you use them? Do you understand its effect on nature? Spend 5 minutes on Caitriona’s SM and you will learn about this and much more, because she is a person who chose to support what she believes in publicly.
Since she was accused of not being a journalist, let’s see some interesting facts: it seems that we are talking about a person of several talents! Recently, an interview was done by Cait about a book – yes, she was the interviewer. Her questions to the author were extremely profound and interesting. She also wrote an article for the NY Times. The question remains: why can’t such things be celebrated? Why are they bothering so much? If you don’t like a public person’s actions, why keep on following them? Why ? Don’t you think you are wasting your time?
We have reached the crucial point and I particularly find it the most disturbing. It is so ingrained that many people don’t even realize it: the woman is always to blame!
Who hasn’t heard of someone who lost their husband for another woman and heard or thought that she must of done something wrong for him to leave her? It’s more common than you think. . Caitriona has suffered several attacks just for being a woman.
She has already been attacked just being a romantic pair to to a guy who is desired by many. Already cursed for not being considered woman enough for Sam. She received death threats (not a joke) when her “engagement” was strangely announced. You did not read it wrong. First, she wasn’t good enough, then she broke his heart choosing another man. If Sam and Caitriona do something that displeases someone, IT’S HER who takes the blame, she is who “did it wrong”, who “dug her own grave.”
Recently, her Wikipedia page had information (in the plural) purposely changed, just because . If it was to be considered a joke, it wasn’t funny at all! There’s a big list that justify all the hatred she receives: list of reasons for which they think the curses are justifiable is mainly: the way she behaves, the way she expresses herself, the way she is, and obviously who she is for Sam Heughan.
That’s how we understand how sexism works. It’s everywhere, disguised as speculations and opinions.
This is not about denominations. By the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if you are a shipper, anti, neutral, undecided, or is here sporadically, only for the show. This is not about believing in the engagement, believing or not in relationships. It’s about property, lack of respect and love for others.
It is very easy to think that someone belongs to you just because you like, love – or think you love – that person. But people are not objects. They are able to decide their lives. We want them to act in accordance with what WE think is right, but we all know that life does not work that way. We need to understand that the way we express ourselves can make other people miserable and that’s no good to anyone.
As for Cait, understand that she is a WONDERFULLY HUMAN BEING. It means that she will bring you moments of great joy, but she will also make mistakes and that’s just how life works.
Criticism for criticism does not help anyone’s growth, so ask yourself: Is this comment really necessary?
You don’t need to tag her when you say how much you hated her new haircut, how much you condemn her dress’ choice or how much you dislike her accessories. Nobody needs such negativity!
At the end of the day, she will still be Caitriona Balfe, that person with countless qualities and defects. She will still be the incredible human being who jokes, is territorial, says “happy birthday” instead of “happy wedding anniversary”, doesn’t know how to put the fada in her own name and marks the wrong people in social networks, frightening the whole fandom – Colin says so!
She will still be Caitriona, annoyed with Trump, , bullying Sam, and who enjoys acid humor and is one of the worst drivers in California just because she thought THE INSTITUTION CARED. She will still be a intelligent woman with strong opinions, full of personality and sensitivity that we chose to love.
But if you feel uncomfortable with her opinions, if they make you feel bad for some unknown reason, maybe some distancing can do you good. There is no demerit on moving away from whatever takes your peace away.
Ahhh, about hateful comments on the internet, my dear, let’s think again. Are you angry? Go to a boxing class, punch the sandbag, yell on the pillow, eat some reeses peanut butter cup, drink a caipirinha or do some therapy. Much better than making another people’s life a hell. But if you are one of those many who doesn’t do this kind of thing, please report it!
That’s it, kisses, Mom loves you!
To read this post in Portuguese, click here.
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Author: Laís Monteiro
Text Compiler: Laís
Images: Emily, Capitu, Laís
Text formatting: Laís and Alexandra
Proofreading (Portuguese): Thaís e Manu
Translation: Lotti and Queen Victoria
Proofreading (English): Bianca