• January 23, 2018
  • SIS

SISters!

SIS is hopefull.

SIS is dreamy.

SIS is feeling right for the job.

What job? You ask.

YAY!!!

So excited you asked!!!!

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THIS JOB!!!!

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Hey, Royal Family!! Your search is over!

SIS is what you’ve been looking for!

 

Let us tell you why?

SIS are queens and divas.

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SIS has royal blood.

Well not exactly royal, but really good thick, red, full of vitamins and whole wheat carrot cake crumbs, xanax, caipirinhas and traces of Sam Heughan.

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SIS is smart.

SIS is fast.

We can count all the members of the Royal Family, describe and name all their clothes and designers, name all the shows made about Royal Families, all the awards they lost and the one Claire Foy won. All that in about, 16.9 seconds.

SIS will defend you at all times.

We are not afraid.

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SIS is single.

A pause to weep a little.

We don’t have a SO to come between us and our job. That’s why we work 24/7, 364 days a year. We only close on Valentine’s day to cry in our very clean and disinfected bathroom.

SIS is very clean and organized.

 

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OMG Diana!!! GO AWAY! We already told you that the shrimp’s NOT INCLUDED.

JESUS. LET. IT. GO.

…don’t you have a book to write? I heard Tobias has a Book Club…GO THERE!

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Maybe not. But either way…GO AWAY.

ABOUT OUR REFERENCES:

 

President Obama

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This shows we can be trusted to implant the Royal Care System in Buckingham Palace. We will take care of you and your loved ones in goodness and in health. Except for The Queen. I mean, she is kinda old…103 maybe? Since she will die, apparently, NEVER…then she is not eligible to our Royal Care System program. Sorry. For more information, please call us on our Troll Free Number.

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Victoria

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Our  friend’s mom. She loves SIS so much she even walks around the city like that. I mean, how many moms do you know who does that?

This shows how we are loved by moms.

 

Tony or Brian!

Or Tobrian.

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He’s our new ASSISTANT MODEL FOR MEMES. We hired him to help him pay for the big ring he gave his fiancé on new year’s eve. He will also be joining Shonda Rhymes’ 37th season of Grey’s Anatomy as Grey and McDreamy’s son in Grey Sloan Hospital as the most sexy and rich doctor Grey, as a favor for SIS.

This shows how we are solidary and have patience.

 

Him.

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We don’t know him very well but he can say lots of nice stuff about us. He will CONFIRM that SIS is NOT crazy, bad or senile. Three things a PR should never be, right?

This shows we can be trusted.

So…

Are we right for the job?

 

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RIGHT. FOR. THE. JOB.

 

#PayMyTherapy

#PayMyCaipirinha

 

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